I haven't changed

I still watch cartoons. I still sport vintage t-shirts and shredded jeans. I still jump at the sound of the doorbell, stupidly check the mailbox everyday, avoid social situations. I still deny the existence of Iowa as a separate state. I still don't get physics. I still wear my hair in pigtails.

I haven't changed.

I'm the same girl that refused to smile for portraits done by anyone other than her father. I'm the same girl that cringed in haunted houses. I'm the same girl that played in the rain, tap danced across the linoleum, prank called strangers, put on piano concerts for her family. I'm the same girl that drank from the carton and licked knives. I'm the same girl that dyed her hair fire-engine red on a whim.

I haven't changed.

I still hate wearing dresses. I still get weak at the sight of blood. I still drink too much, make a fool of myself, throw parties when the parents are out of town, set things on fire. I'm still anal about organization. I still slack on my work. I still rat on my brother and bite my nails. I still don't know who framed Roger Rabbit.

I haven't changed.

I'm the same girl I was at eighteen. The same girl I was at six. I just cuss more.