Memo to all coworkers
Sake is not an admissible lunch beverage.
We do not belong to some rendition of a diminished capacity Nazi regime. Whistles are not required for bowing. Bowing isn’t even required. Get over it. I make more money than you AND I don’t pay taxes. I’m not bowing.
There will be no more playing “Let’s get the American drunk and bombard her with shoddy English questions about food she’ll never eat because it still has a pulse and lies bleeding on her plate while she convulses.”
I will not tolerate questions about my piercing. That’s what the first eight months were for. The last four months are dedicated to my continual quest for a suitable hiding spot within the school.
NO I WILL NOT SHOW YOU MY NAVEL!
Roren Hogurando is not my name. Hey…you know what? Not even close!!! Try again.
If you see me open the Lonely Planet guide to Japan at my desk, don’t assume I’m doing some light reading. Ask if you can help me. You, undoubtedly, won’t be able to do jackshit, but the offer might be nice.
I won’t hold your baby for a photograph…especially if I’m the only one in it…please keep this in mind. Unless, of course, you’re fully aware of the consequences that your child will suffer irreparable damage and require more than affordable long term therapy.
“Bye Bye” is not Japanese.
Ask me to juggle AND DIE!
Wearing the same pair of pants two days in a row IS acceptable. Three days, debatable. Four….WHAT? Do you not own pants? Let them breathe.
I like to be informed at least thirty seconds in advance prior to giving speeches…especially when they’re in Japanese. I don’t know…maybe I’m funny that way, and probably the only person in the world…but bear with me.
We do not belong to some rendition of a diminished capacity Nazi regime. Whistles are not required for bowing. Bowing isn’t even required. Get over it. I make more money than you AND I don’t pay taxes. I’m not bowing.
There will be no more playing “Let’s get the American drunk and bombard her with shoddy English questions about food she’ll never eat because it still has a pulse and lies bleeding on her plate while she convulses.”
I will not tolerate questions about my piercing. That’s what the first eight months were for. The last four months are dedicated to my continual quest for a suitable hiding spot within the school.
NO I WILL NOT SHOW YOU MY NAVEL!
Roren Hogurando is not my name. Hey…you know what? Not even close!!! Try again.
If you see me open the Lonely Planet guide to Japan at my desk, don’t assume I’m doing some light reading. Ask if you can help me. You, undoubtedly, won’t be able to do jackshit, but the offer might be nice.
I won’t hold your baby for a photograph…especially if I’m the only one in it…please keep this in mind. Unless, of course, you’re fully aware of the consequences that your child will suffer irreparable damage and require more than affordable long term therapy.
“Bye Bye” is not Japanese.
Ask me to juggle AND DIE!
Wearing the same pair of pants two days in a row IS acceptable. Three days, debatable. Four….WHAT? Do you not own pants? Let them breathe.
I like to be informed at least thirty seconds in advance prior to giving speeches…especially when they’re in Japanese. I don’t know…maybe I’m funny that way, and probably the only person in the world…but bear with me.
posted by Chishiki Lauren at 7:40 PM
1 Comments:
HA! A day in your life has to be pretty interesting. What the hell they have you eating is the main thought in my head. It sounds naaaaaasty!
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