48 hours w/o internet access...
...makes Lauren a VERY pissed off, irritable, pseudo-maniacal, waste of primordial juice.
Day 2:
8:32 - Dre calls to remind me I owe China a bribe of 100USD. How do I always manage to find myself in compromising positions with communist regimes?
9:01 - Half an hour gone. That pair of scissors looks sharp enough to...
9:20 - The science teacher is shaving at his desk. I find that irritating. Wait a minute. I find EVERYTHING irritating. And YES, I'm YELLING!!!
9:43 - Looking for an explanation as to why I deserve this punishment. "You want an explanation? GOD. IS. PISSED!" Anything can be answered with a Family Guy quote.
10:22 - There are eight paper shredders in this office. Eight! I counted. Who needs eight paper shredders, other than the US Government? At present, they're all being used. Hey-let's set fire to the Amazon while we're at it.
10:27 - Hand creeping towards the rusty scissors....just about there...
11:03 - MacGuyver would know how to escape this situation.
11:32 - Self-hypnosis is possible with extreme overplay of Radiohead. Try it.
11:34 - KILL ME!
KILL ME!!
KILL ME!!!!!
11:42 - Reading the JET Handbook. Starting to think it would have been more beneficial to read in the beginning, rather than the end.
11:46 - "Each neighborhood has a designated area where citizens can gather when a natural disaster causes fire or disrupts the gas, power and water supply."*
*Unless you're a failed American and then you shall be subjected to a week without gas and two without hot water. Rite of initiation. You understand.
P.S. I do not count as a natural disaster...despite the number of fires I may start.
12:37 - ::putting glasses on::
::taking glasses off::
::putting glasses on::
No, no difference.
12:41 - How dues dust accumulate beneath the bed?
1:02 - The hottest ring of Hell would be more entertaining than this.
1:47 - New Record! 17 consecutive games of Spider Solitaire.
2:00 - I need coffee!
2:01 - Revision: I need vodka!
2:15 - Two hours left. Six episodes of Family Guy? Another nap? Stab myself repeatedly in the jugular so as to diminish the internet cravings and rising insanity?
2:16 - D. All of the above.
2:18 - There's a vegetarian restaurant in Bangkok called "Cabbages and Condoms."
2:23 It's back! It's back! And now you can suffer my unbearable experience. Abridged, that is.
Day 2:
8:32 - Dre calls to remind me I owe China a bribe of 100USD. How do I always manage to find myself in compromising positions with communist regimes?
9:01 - Half an hour gone. That pair of scissors looks sharp enough to...
9:20 - The science teacher is shaving at his desk. I find that irritating. Wait a minute. I find EVERYTHING irritating. And YES, I'm YELLING!!!
9:43 - Looking for an explanation as to why I deserve this punishment. "You want an explanation? GOD. IS. PISSED!" Anything can be answered with a Family Guy quote.
10:22 - There are eight paper shredders in this office. Eight! I counted. Who needs eight paper shredders, other than the US Government? At present, they're all being used. Hey-let's set fire to the Amazon while we're at it.
10:27 - Hand creeping towards the rusty scissors....just about there...
11:03 - MacGuyver would know how to escape this situation.
11:32 - Self-hypnosis is possible with extreme overplay of Radiohead. Try it.
11:34 - KILL ME!
KILL ME!!
KILL ME!!!!!
11:42 - Reading the JET Handbook. Starting to think it would have been more beneficial to read in the beginning, rather than the end.
11:46 - "Each neighborhood has a designated area where citizens can gather when a natural disaster causes fire or disrupts the gas, power and water supply."*
*Unless you're a failed American and then you shall be subjected to a week without gas and two without hot water. Rite of initiation. You understand.
P.S. I do not count as a natural disaster...despite the number of fires I may start.
12:37 - ::putting glasses on::
::taking glasses off::
::putting glasses on::
No, no difference.
12:41 - How dues dust accumulate beneath the bed?
1:02 - The hottest ring of Hell would be more entertaining than this.
1:47 - New Record! 17 consecutive games of Spider Solitaire.
2:00 - I need coffee!
2:01 - Revision: I need vodka!
2:15 - Two hours left. Six episodes of Family Guy? Another nap? Stab myself repeatedly in the jugular so as to diminish the internet cravings and rising insanity?
2:16 - D. All of the above.
2:18 - There's a vegetarian restaurant in Bangkok called "Cabbages and Condoms."
2:23 It's back! It's back! And now you can suffer my unbearable experience. Abridged, that is.
posted by Chishiki Lauren at 12:31 AM
3 Comments:
I'm sorry, I don't know why it would be my fault - but I feel bad not giving you more family guy or... audio books - I'll work on that... or new scissors... or james joyce, but it looks like you have been reading him, "How dues dust accumulate beneath the bed?" - very joycian.
if I only knew what it was like to be in a country where I don't speak the language and it is hard to use the internet...
you poor lamb! I dread to think what shenanigans took place on day one.
Internet's such an addiction!! Your blog is great by the way - sorry for the weird randomer post... Keep writing and I'll keep reading (in the non-creepiest way there is)
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