White days like this
I enjoy white days. Neither melancholic blue, violent red or cheerful yellow. Somewhere in between the emptiness yet simultaneous confusion of black and bleak qualities of gray. Not necessarily devoid of emotion, simply balanced.
Upper:
“This is why I like you Lauren. Because you are inspiring. You don't want to wait around for the next best thing. Just because we're young doesn't mean we have to do nothing while we wait around and prepare for our next big move….
your friend who is constantly learning more about you, Liz”
Thank you Liz. Sometimes I believe you get me more than most simply because you accept the fact that you don’t already know me completely, and you’re content with that.
Downer:
I finished Cosmopolis a few days ago...always sad. Putting down a book in that ever growing pile of previous reads, watching my bedside stack grow smaller daily...que pena. If you’ve never read Don DeLillo, I highly recommend him, though you’d be best to start with White Noise. An interesting take on the effects contemporary pop culture has upon a seemingly vintage concept - existentialism. We are our own demise. DeLillo seems fascinated with such an idea, which is the basis for Cosmopolis as well. A provocative quote:
“World is supposed to mean something that’s self-contained. But nothing is self-contained. Everything enters something else. My small days spill into light-years. This is why I can only pretend to be someone. And this is why I felt derived at first, working on these pages. I didn’t know if it was me that was writing so much as someone I want to sound like.”
I couldn’t agree more. How much of what I write is ultimately me, devoid of outside influences, inspired by self and self alone, characteristically unique to simply me? I fear, nothing. All I can do is create for the aesthetics without regard to specific identity. Stop analyzing as to how many influences have created the person I have become, and in turn, my emotional and mental state, but rather, purge for the sake of catharsis instead of inimitability.
That's as much balance as I could hope for. All is right with the world...or, my world.
Upper:
“This is why I like you Lauren. Because you are inspiring. You don't want to wait around for the next best thing. Just because we're young doesn't mean we have to do nothing while we wait around and prepare for our next big move….
your friend who is constantly learning more about you, Liz”
Thank you Liz. Sometimes I believe you get me more than most simply because you accept the fact that you don’t already know me completely, and you’re content with that.
Downer:
I finished Cosmopolis a few days ago...always sad. Putting down a book in that ever growing pile of previous reads, watching my bedside stack grow smaller daily...que pena. If you’ve never read Don DeLillo, I highly recommend him, though you’d be best to start with White Noise. An interesting take on the effects contemporary pop culture has upon a seemingly vintage concept - existentialism. We are our own demise. DeLillo seems fascinated with such an idea, which is the basis for Cosmopolis as well. A provocative quote:
“World is supposed to mean something that’s self-contained. But nothing is self-contained. Everything enters something else. My small days spill into light-years. This is why I can only pretend to be someone. And this is why I felt derived at first, working on these pages. I didn’t know if it was me that was writing so much as someone I want to sound like.”
I couldn’t agree more. How much of what I write is ultimately me, devoid of outside influences, inspired by self and self alone, characteristically unique to simply me? I fear, nothing. All I can do is create for the aesthetics without regard to specific identity. Stop analyzing as to how many influences have created the person I have become, and in turn, my emotional and mental state, but rather, purge for the sake of catharsis instead of inimitability.
That's as much balance as I could hope for. All is right with the world...or, my world.
posted by Chishiki Lauren at 2:11 AM
2 Comments:
After reading White Noise, I went on a marathon of DeLillo: Running Dog, Cosmopolis, The Hunger Artist, but I didn't think any of them were comparable to White Noise. Good books, considered on their own, but White Noise was just such a remarkable novel that it was tough for anything else to measure up. Have you read End Zone or Libra? I'm just wondering how those compare ...
Haven't read either, but I think Libra is resting on my bookshelf back home. I've heard some great reviews about that one. End Zone, however, doesn't sound too appealing, and I'm not sure I'm ready to take a chance on destroying the image of DeLillo I've built up in my mind.
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