You, with your beadly little cement eyes

5:45 am. I had a dream about applejuice. I woke up to the sound of gunshots. And for the record, applejuice and gunshots, not the ideal way to be jostled from sleep. Someone calls the police. The whole family, clad in pajamas, heads outside...because the first thing you should always do when shots are fired is head outside to see what's going on. Intelligence factor ZERO. No one was hurt, unless you consider a cement yard cherub a someone, which for all practical purposes I do not. The real loser, however, was my car. My pretty, economical, dark green Hyundai. That baby's dead. Apparently someone is not a Phish fan. Nor are they fans of cement yard cherubs, now decapitated...but I can't say I blame them for that one.

Services are pending an insurance investigation.