Open letter...
...to the lady in my belly dancing class that insists on asking for intense workouts and increased abdominal undulations for practice....yeah, you...in your obnoxious red skirt with all the bells
Ma'am,
I admire your interest in extracurricular activities, however, if you've been in the same intermediate class for two years now, maybe you are beyond improvement. Maybe you've toped off at some stagnant level you'll never escape. I'm pretty sure that's the case. For the love of Allah, don't make us suffer for your plateau. I'm sorry you can't touch your toes or open your ribcage enough to control the upper to lower undulations without moving your hips. I'm sorry if the piston is too advanced for you and corkscrew turns aren't your thing. But why, dear god, WHY, must you ask for more ab work? You're not even trying. I watched you...and by 'watched' I mean 'gave the death stare'. If you really want a more intense workout, for god's sake, make the jump to an advanced performance class already and leave us be.
Cause if you don't stop soon, I shall kick your ass. Well, that is, once I regain full range movement of my arms and legs and my abs don't spasm every twenty minutes, leaving me curled in a ball of the floor. A very real threat. There will be suffering, oh yes...and not just the abs.
Ma'am,
I admire your interest in extracurricular activities, however, if you've been in the same intermediate class for two years now, maybe you are beyond improvement. Maybe you've toped off at some stagnant level you'll never escape. I'm pretty sure that's the case. For the love of Allah, don't make us suffer for your plateau. I'm sorry you can't touch your toes or open your ribcage enough to control the upper to lower undulations without moving your hips. I'm sorry if the piston is too advanced for you and corkscrew turns aren't your thing. But why, dear god, WHY, must you ask for more ab work? You're not even trying. I watched you...and by 'watched' I mean 'gave the death stare'. If you really want a more intense workout, for god's sake, make the jump to an advanced performance class already and leave us be.
Cause if you don't stop soon, I shall kick your ass. Well, that is, once I regain full range movement of my arms and legs and my abs don't spasm every twenty minutes, leaving me curled in a ball of the floor. A very real threat. There will be suffering, oh yes...and not just the abs.
posted by Chishiki Lauren at 9:16 PM
4 Comments:
It sounds like a swift kick to her gut will solve the problem....as soon as you can perform a swift kick again. :)
You so crack me up!
She sounds like a former classmate, Diane, who would ask a long question at the end of each class that would keep us there at least another ten minutes. Someone needed to shut her up and one day a professor name Gail did. Gail loved baseball and was obsessed with the St. Louis Cardinals.
One day Diane began asking her normal 3-minute monologue question and Gail cut her off with the words, “Shut up, Diane. The rest of us want to watch the Cardinals on TV.”
It was a most liberating moment for me.
Perfectly illustrates "The Peter Principle" which says that we all rise to the level of our own incompetence.
Some folks need to STFU. Tell her if she wants more ab work, join a Pilates class. Everyone knows belly dancing is used soley to improve your sex life.
Cheers!
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