Thursday, February 03, 2005

Misconceptions

My supervisor, who super sucks by the way, was embarrassed to explain to me the crazy naked man stalking about town molesting girls. She pointed to the words in the dictionary instead of saying them out loud. She won't use the word sex either. And she still coughs on me because she thinks it's funny. It's not. It's really not.

There are love hotels everywhere for the sole purpose of sex. There is watered-down porn lining the aisles of the 7-11. Dre and I caught some dude jerking off in the car next to us in broad daylight, at an uber-crowded intersection. More Japanese men have groped me than Italian and Scottish combined...now there's a statement.

There are, clearly, only two discernible fashion statements here, one ultra conservative, involving thirty-seven and one fourth layers of clothes, all worn simultaneously, and, preferably, not matching. The other, half a layer of a shirt and maybe a bandaid or two, paired with six inch stillettos.

What is going on here? I was obviously mistaken when I labeled them all as prudes. Maybe it's just me here, but doesn't buying your milk and bread (weekly essentials) in the same place as your porn a little disconcerting? Everytime I walk in there are at least five teenagers lined up against the magazine racks glaring and flipping, page to page, magazine to magazine...though they're not allowed to buy them. That, in itself, is rather incongruous. This whole country is one huge, fucking contradiction.


Oh, and just fyi, I was informed that eating whale is illegal here in Japan. Can I then call the FDA or some equivalent and have my entire school staff fined, or better yet, arrested, for the blatant, and illegal murder of whales? I'd like to think so.

1 Comments:

Blogger Brian said...

Hmm ... Has your supervisor figured out yet that your string of illnesses, conjunctivitis et al, might be somehow related to her coughing on you all the damn time? Or is germ theory with her in the same category as other myths like Croatia? As for the sex-obsessed, I find keeping the word "pre-vert" in mind at least lends me the odd moment of private humour ...

5:18 AM  

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