Dangerous minds of first year English students

Recap of question and answer session in my third hour English class.

Do you have a boyfriend?
You're serious? That's the first question? Fine, no. I don't.

Why not?
Were not going to go there. I don't ask why you don't brush your teeth or cook your food. So shut it.

Do you have any pets?
Besides the brother?

What are your favorite Japanese foods?
HAHA.

Do you prefer sun or rain?
Uh, fog.

You should watch Japanese television programs.
I don't get it. Where's the question?

What kind of boys do you like?
Illiterate, racist fuckwits that send me watered-down porn via email. Or, blue eyed guitar players. (That's the way to piss off a classroom full of brown eyed twelve-year old boys.)

Can you speak Japanese?
Scoshi.
Shabete kudasai. (Speak, please.)
Fuck off...er, gomen. Ohayo gozaimasu. Densha wa doko desu ka? Watashi wa Lauren desu. Watashi wa ni jun san sie desu. (I never said I spoke well.)

What can you speak besides English and Japanese?
Ha, you said I speak Japanese. Spanish, minimal French, waning Russian.
Shabete, kudasai.
Hola. Oida mi trabajo con una passion que solo el diablo puede entender en su oida del Dios, aunque no creo que existe un dios, pero no vos importe, pero sois estupidos, y me alegre que puedo os decirlo en frente de la clase, porque nadie entiende nada.

Je vraiment ne peux pas parler français, je feins juste. Mais vous ne savez pas cela.Que vous attendez-vous à ce que je dise ? J'ai un mal de tête.

Когда я сказал я смогло поговорить русского я лежал. (Actually, this is all I have memorized in Russian. Language tapes suck!)

What's your favourite town?
In Japan?
Anywhere.
Kaiserslautern, Germany. (Did they expect to understand. They negate the existence of Croatia, like they've heard of ANYWHERE other than Japan.)

What surprised you most about Japan?
How much I hate it. New question.