*PYROMANIA 2004*

So, first experience with the washing machine wasn’t so bad, even though it only holds ¼ the normal amount. Now, I’ve never been a huge fan of line drying clothes, especially after Spain when my jeans were starchy enough to stand up by themselves, but this time most of my clothes turned out okay, though incredibly wrinkled, with the exception of my towel, which now feels like dried toothpaste. To top it all off, it’s not even my towel! It was left here for me by the last girl…::shudders in disgust:: Yeah, good times. So amongst the wrinkled clothes were the pants I planned to wear today. And since I have to make a good impression for the 2 people actually working in the office I decided to try the iron out.

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn’t read the settings for cotton or linen or anything because it’s all in kanji, so I guessed, and boy was I wrong. Not only did I burn the pants, but as soon as I realized what I’d done I dropped the iron right onto the tatami, which is little more than dried straw…….so a lot of smoke and a hue burn mark ensued….thank god the Japanese aren’t up to safety regulations on smoke detectors.

So I thought to myself, screw the pants, let’s just make coffee. A little caffeine always seems to make my day brighter. I decided to use the percolator today instead of the teapot, because there is really no comparison in terms of taste. But the percolator is the smallest I’ve ever seen and the individual burners on the range are really large to compensate for a lack of a real stove. So I had to balance the percolator on the range and after about 5 minutes………COFFEE EXPLOSION!!!

The poor coffee splattered all over my kitchen, and to top it off, the handle, which is coated in plastic, caught on fire, melting all over the range and the counter, which no dout will be stuck forever….FORever!

Cursed much? Yeah, so I’m jinxed when it comes to technology, all kitchen appliances, domestic tasks and whistling….not that the last one really matters, but ever since that whole braces experience I haven’t been able to whistle. Dr. Yozwiack stole something from me I’ll never be able to replace…scummy bastard. I should have known this would happen though, after that time I set my own hat on fire. Ha, I’ve got problems. I actually brought the hat with me…I still love it despite the gaping hole and charred edges, just makes it look more vintage…or Good Will…but it’s a fine line.