The personal statement from hell

I once wrote a paper entitled, "A Case Study in Blowback Analysis: The Agents and Effects of U.S. Military Intervention in 'Axis of Evil' Countries." Yes...I was pretentious, and yes, the paper was complete crap. That's usually how it goes, great title, shit work.

I think I want to make my own coffee table book. Maybe a compilation of my favorite photographs. Even if no one looks at it, it'd be nice to know that I haven't completely lost the artistic touch. Though I'm not positive I ever had it.

I'm about ready to employ the homeless to write my personal statement for me. I can't write about myself-not positively at least. I'm tempted to just lay out the truth...that I have no fucking clue as to where my life is headed, I'm not okay with that, but graduate school can't hurt the process. I don't speak in class, my writing sucks, I procratinate more than the U.S. government, my scores aren't that great, I'm a mediocre student, I lack true motivation at the moment. I may want to do great things in my life, but the reality of trying to achieve that greatness will probably eat away at me. I destroy myself of a daily basis, I'm easily distracted, I complain, I don't sleep...um, thus far exceeding what they're looking for, I realize. Just got off on a tangent. Honestly, I just don't want this personal statement to turn into b.s., it'll signify that I have nothing left to offer. And while I don't necessarily think that's true, I can't negate such a statement either. This is pathetic.